Saturday, December 15, 2012

Half maturity.

Assalammualaikum. Jeng jenjeng. Wahhh semangat aku sapu2 blog aku siap dgn hiasan terbaru lagi. Puas betul hati tgk blog dah cantik. Cantik ker?

 Huhu. Well I'm having my final exam within a week. YaAllah cepat sgt sem ni habis compare to sem yg sebelum ni. Haish rasa nya dah banyak kali dlm hidup aku cakap cepatnya masa berlalu. Okay regarding the title. Actually something tak adalah apa sgt. Just about my life. Before ni aku fikir kalau dah graduate nanti *InsyaAllah. Amin. Amin. Amin* aku nak terus kerja je. Tak mau lah nak smbung degree ke hape. Just kerja kat hospital for the rest on my life.

 But....

Tibanya hari di mana aku sedar yang masa kecik dulu aku bukan org yg mcm ni. Bukan seorg yg letak limit dalam life. Abah selalu cakap. "Jannah dulu masa kecik, kau nak benda mesti nak. Nak jugak. Nak jugak." Hehe. Kelakar. But later when I entered SSP, bila dah jumpa dunia sebenar yang mana banyak budak2 pandai. Aku dah mula under-estimated my self. .But it doesn't mean I didn't thankful to be there. At least dekat SSP aku jumpa orang2 yang menjadi orang2 terpenting dalam life aku. Alhamdulillah for that. Masuk matrik. Even dah 5 tahun aku duduk asrama but I think matrik was the place where I learnt to become survival and a little bit matured. And I made some great friends too. Alhamdulillah again. Dan skrg masuk Aimst. Dikelilingi budak2 cina. Aku makin under-under-estimated myself. Aim hanya lah untuk pass all the paper.

Then..aku sedar.

That is not the purpose of your life. Tak kisah berapa juta org yg pandai2 ada kat depan korg. Tak kisah berapa byk kali korg terjatuh or akan jatuh. Just pursue your dreams. Sekarang aku dah mula melukis-lukis masa hadapan aku. Even aku tahu tak semestinya akan tercapai but sekurang-kurang aku berusaha. InsyaAllah tengoklah keadaan aku masa tu. Dan kalau Allah izinkan. Lepas two years of compulsory years, aku nak smbg master in Pharmacy and then PhD. Dan insyaAllah kalau diberi rezeki aku nak kerja dekat Pharmaceutical insdustry. Nak cari experiences. Aminn. Aku tahu dengan lambakan org2 pandai sekarang mungkin agak susah aku nak menonjol. Tapi aku rasa attitude will bring me further.

Semua ni based on rezeki dan keadaan. Kalau tak tercapai pun tak apa. Allah maha Mengetahui. :)

Even aku rasa part tu bagi something what we called maturity. Tapi ada part dalam diri aku tak matured. Masa the last day of my class hari tu. Aku down gila. Memang bergenang je airmata. Yes I always have this-kind-of- unknown-syndrome. Sedih without a reason. Ingat nak call mak ke family. But I guess dorg dah lali dengan aku yg macam tu. Aku takut apa yang dorg cakap buat aku rasa lagi down. Dan aku rasa it is not the best choice. Alhamdullilah I have a friend to turn to. Nasihat yg dibagi betul2 buat diri semangat balik. Thanks Nahdatul Aishah Mohd. Sharif.

Yups I hope the day will come sooner for me to become fully matured person about this life. About everything. Because through maturity I will appreciate something more. And through maturity I can become a positive person.

And for that I prayed to Allah to let me become a matured person. And to become that I know I should be a better muslimah first. Please pray for me peeps.

 Aminnn. Till fingers meet the keyboard again. Assalammualaikum.

  I found this cute sleepy kitten. Comel! :D

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