Saturday, March 19, 2016

?

I desperately wanted to talk with someone right now. :(

Why can they just try to understand.
I've done so much to fulfil what they want.

For this time, why can they just at least let me make my own decision?
Can someone please come, and make all of these pain bearable?

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

There is no right or wrong.

Bismillahhirahmannirahim.

Wow. Dah masuk bulan March. How time flies. Dah nak setahun bekerja. Dan haritu dah start buat choice untuk penempatan for FRP.

Entah.

Dulu mula-mula dulu memang aku nak choose Sabah. But as the time goes by, aku dah start rule out Sabah from the list. Alasannya, kalau aku pergi Sabah, susah nak catch up dengan kawan2. Susah nak attend wedding kawan2. Well, the time has come. Musim kawan-kawan kahwin. So, okay it stops there.

But then, when the application form reached. I can still be calm. Tapi bila dah nak kena hantar borang tu. Allah. Allah saja yang tahu dilema nak buat keputusan tu.That one night, aku memang serabut sangat. Sebabnya hati aku tiba-tiba rasa nak pilih Sabah. Yeah,semua orang akan rasa benda ini simple. Benda ni je pun. But as a person like me. It is a huge decision.

Kenapa Sabah?

The reason is simple yet I guess no one can understand that.

1) Memang teringin nak ada pengalaman time muda-muda ni nak duduk Sabah. Dulu pun time prp, ingat nak pilih Sabah. But heyy, my mom wins.
2) Nak keluar dari comfort zone. Finding myself.
3) Aku selalu rasa diri ni undeserving to be in this position. Rasa macam ramainya lagi orang yang layak. Sebab Sabah ni ramai pharmacists yang lebih berkelayakan ni jarang yang nak, so someone like me should be there kan? The plus point is, aku memang nak ada pengalaman. I'm not getting any younger anyway.
4) Nak bawak diri. Nak lari dari perasaan itu. I hope I can make peace with that feeling. Unnecessary feeling.
5) Reason last...because I'm Jannah. Impulsive. Suka benda yang tak ramai orang minat.
Susah ni nak cari orang yang sama passion ni. Or at least someone, yang FAHAM, even though passion lain2. HAHA. Dream on!

Haaaa "simple" kan reason dia, Lol.

Insya Allah, I have done my part, for rest I will leave everything to ALLAH. After all, Allah always have a better plan with me. Be it Sabah, be it anywhere in this world. I know I can survive, as long as I keep my faith to Allah.

Bye,